"One at a time, constants become surreal. One at a time, heart attacks are concealed." -A.F.I.

day 4. 21 may

around 4 in the morning, gap kids keeps calling me. one missed call. two missed calls. three missed calls. what the heck? fourth call. fine. i answer it. turns out they're inviting me to the store's going-out of business all-store dinner. nope, i can't go. i'm in england remember? remember when i asked if we could have it before the 17th so that i could go because on the 17th i leave to europe? argh..i'm still a little bitter that no one tried to say goodbye to me when i pretty much advertised that my last day was on the 9th of may. and besides i really wanted to go to that dinner. i'm not sure why, but gap was actually pretty good to me and i will miss it and miss my co-workers. even after all that complaining i did, i really didn't plan on leaving because i felt settled. i felt accomplished (i was known for being really successful at gap cards) and even proud of myself. i finally kept a job for more than 6 months. almost a year and a half as a matter of fact. didn't get unbelievably bored like usual. and then just when i get really comfortable, we go out of business. and just when i think i'm starting to make real friends, real connections that can be carried out of the confines of perfect board folding and go-backs, our store is scattered...

so i wake up forreal around 9 am. pretty good start i think. eat some cereal...drink some milk...lay on the couch. lay on the couch...lay on the couch some more...and pretty soon the whole day blows away outside my window. so yeah. i spent most of my day watching grey's anatomy, bleach, taking a 4 hour nap, and laying on a couch thinking about how i should be active and see london. but ya know what? i'm on vacation and i should be able to do whatever the heck i want even if that means doing nothing. besides, i don't know why i put so much pressure on me to go and have adventures when i'm suppose to be relaxing and not stressing out. so that's what i did and i feel proud to have caught up especially on real Bleach. no more freakin bounto filler!!! i can finally see what the heck owen and bobby are talking about.

so after doing a whole lot of nothing, i finally got out of the house to meet up with my dad at the Virgin Active gym at angel station. i was kind of amused that we went to another Virgin-related endeavor. it seems like they own EVERYTHING here. want to talk on the phone? Virgin Mobile. want to watch tv? Virgin Satellite. want to work out? Virgin Active. want to fly to New York? Virgin Atlantic. how bout just a commuter flight? Virgin America. how bout a hot dog? Virgin Hot Dog. okay they don't really have hot dogs...

so we sign up for a day pass to see how the gym is. split ways and go to the locker rooms. the very first thing i notice (and it wasn't exactly hard to see) was that british women have ginormous breasts. okay this sounds really weird, but then again all the women were naked so it's not like it was a secret. no but really, i've noticed this since i got to the london. i haven't seen one flat-chested woman so i really stand out (or don't stand out actually). i'm not sure if it's something that's in the water, but i think i'll be drinking a whole lot of that H2O while i'm here haha. 

anyhow, i try to do some elliptical action and notice that i have no idea how much i weigh because i don't know how many kilograms are in a pound. and i don't know how fast i want to go because i don't know how many mph are in an sph. so i try to do it manually and find that their elliptical is more like ellipti-crazy. it was nothing like the ellipticals we have back in the states. but i tried to look like i knew what i was doing by looking around to see how the others were getting through it. and that's when i noticed that a lot of the people at the gym were deathly skinny, like mary kate skinny and snoop dog in "Starksy and Hutch" skinny. it was at that point that i realized i was one of the heaviest ladies in the room. man no wonder why they think americans are fat...they have really crazy standards.

so we finish the work out and my dad decides to let me get a month membership so i can come back and work out. as we leave, he comments about how it will be good for me to "finally get"  active which i totally agree with. but then i hear the undertones of his wish for me and realize yet again that he thinks i'm overweight. everytime he's visited me, he comments that i eat too much. that i (along with all of America apparently) eat really poorly. that it's starting to show (since i, like others from the states, eat like 8 burgers a day). and since i've been here, he's said some more things that hint at his disappointment in my weight. i said something about how the women in the gym were too skinny and he said that they're just healthy. they're just "active" and "eat right." this pressure to be thin has always been there but in the past several years, i feel like it's gotten worse. since my dad lost a bunch of weight, he acts like he's superior in his diet and his exercise regiment. he always brags about how much he runs, how little he eats. one time i commented on how he's anorexic and he said at least he's in shape. he said that leaving America has taught him how to eat (which by the way includes skipping breakfast and lunch). to me, this is not a good example. not only is he encouraging not eating, i feel like he thinks he's so much better than americans just cuz he lives in london now. and then he goes on to imply that he never cooks and is only cooking meals for me because he knows how much i like to eat. 

yeah. 

i do. 

i feel like he really wants me to follow his "methods" and i only wish he knew how much i've struggled with my weight throughout my life. he wouldn't be so free with his "advice" if he only knew. 

all this talk about not eating is making me hungry. end of day 4.

 

"Again last night I had that strange dream, where everything was exactly how it seemed." - Postal Service

day 3. 20 may

woke up around 11 am (finally slept in a little bit). it took me awhile to get up since i was debating sleeping in a couple of more hours to see where this recurring dream that i've had would go. in the dream, i'm running towards a cabin in the woods with some of my friends. there's something following us and i'm really fearful of what or who it is. we run into the cabin and lock all the doors and shut all the windows. however, some of my friends are hot so they decide to leave just one window open since it has a screen. everyone leaves the room, but for some reason, i just sit in front of the window with all the lights off and wait for "the thing" to finally come. 

didn't get to see where that went though since my phone kept getting incoming texts. it was my dad asking me to get dressed and help him out. i guess i'll go with him to his storage facility...

so he meets me at the flat and he tells me that he's rented a car since the storage facility is not easy to get to by bus or tube. okay this will be interesting. 

"dad, have you driven here before?"

"um...yeah one time when i moved..."

"oh how did that go?"

(then i think back to when he told me a traffic light took his picture repeatedly throughout the day when he was driving a big truck when he moved...)

anyhow, it was terrifying. lol. no really, i was afraid for our lives since all rental cars are stick shift with your left hand and steering with your right hand (driver's side is reversed). i seriously had to recite happy song lyrics inside of my head so that my dad would stay calm anytime he looked at me. instead of a terrified jaw clench, i tried to exhibit an amused smile. it was really crazy navigating through streets that didn't have street signs and dealing with jay-walkers that didn't even look to see if there was oncoming traffic (which there always is). it certainly was an adventure and not one that i generally would like to have again (unless my dad obtains a british driver's license). oh and unless england can drive on the normal side of the street...

the rest of the day was filled with laziness. lots of reality television and really long british commercials. if you thought our commercials were long back in the states, you would start to squirm watching these ones. on top of their length, a lot of them don't have anything to do with the product that they're trying to advertise. for example, there can be an ad showing parachuting, and skiing, and the tropics, and it would turn out to be an ad for m&m's. is this why they call it british humor?

other things that are weird/make me laugh:

-spelling: humour, flavour, organise (okay yeah, i did spell technicolour the british way)

-always say take-away when you buy food so you don't have to pay an extra dollar to sit down at their facility plus tax

-even though it's called "w.c." (wash closet), everyone says "loo" or "toilets" which is kind of the opposite of proper eh?

-even if you're standing in front of the bus stop clearly waiting for a bus, they will not stop unless you wave your hand to signal your desire to get on a bus

-crisps= chips=french fries, but tortilla chips are still chips

-tomato= ta-maw-toe

-pasta= pass-ta

i helped make dinner and was rather proud of the outcome. we had roast lamb with potatoes and salad. i was in charge of the potatoes which doesn't sound very impressive, but if you tasted them, you might be surprised (and a little impressed?). ingredients included: potatoes,  onions, garlic, paprika, extra virgin olive oil, rosemary, chives, parsley, bay leaf, pepper, salt, and a hint of sugar. 

i finally started getting to reading some of my books that i brought. optimistically thinking, by the end of this trip i will have read the following:

-Across the Wall by Garth Nix 

-The Looking Glass Wars by Frank Beddor

-The Road by Cormac McCarthy

-Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

wish me academic luck!

the rest of the night was more lounging around and being lazy. that prior adventure of the day really drained most of my energy and mental well-being. end of day 3.

"All your suits are custom made in London. But I've got something that you'd really like..." -Madonna

day 2. may 19

so today i was on a mission to go do some shopping and see a museum. i ventured out on a double decker bus and then to angel station for some "tube" action. i wandered around the london bridge area where i kept getting lost. i tried to go to the borough market to get a sausage but to my dismay, they were closed on mondays. so instead i went to the globe theatre to see what was playing. i ended up getting a ticket for standing room for king lear on may 28th. i'm excited to see a performance here but i'm not excited to stand around for 3 hours (but u can't really beat a 5 quid ticket). after that i went off to the tate modern where i walked around for several hours and checked out a new exhibit featuring three famous dadaist artists. personally, it's been more rewarding to check out art museums after i've learned about them in my art history classes. i feel like i can really appreciate the artists after learning about the movements and such. this last semester was all about 20th century art so this museum was perfect. by the time i got down to the last floor of art, i was really exhausted which reminded me of a couple of years ago when my friends and i were at the tate modern. by the time we got down to the last floor, we rushed through because we had been at such a slow pace on the other levels that all of our energy had been used up. deja vu. 

so after that i decided to still try to spend some english money. i read about a market place near liverpool st that features plenty of discounts on clothes and purses. so despite my tiredness, i journeyed over to liverpool tube stop. after getting lost some more for almost an hour, i finally found the spitalfields market which to my awesome luck, was closed on mondays. ugh! i tried to look in some boutiques along the way but they were quite boutiquey thus expensive. 

after another disappointment, i made my way home. instead of going to the gym with my dad, i opted to take a nap. by the way, i tried to be out of the house so that i wouldn't be in the way of the housecleaner but she didn't get there till half way through my nap. i think i scared her cuz she kind of yelped when i was stretching. to make it up to me, she vacuumed extra long in the living room while i was trying to sleep. 

the cool thing since i've been here has been my dad's cooking. he's been spoiling me by cooking every night (and good stuff by the way). we ate some amazing salmon and next up is some roasted lamb...i'm getting way too spoiled here! =P

end of day 2. 

"London calling. Speak the slang now..." -M.I.A.

hello blogging world. this is my very first blogspotting. i decided that journaling whilst abroad would give me stuff to talk about so here it goes.

day 1 - 17 may 

flight was nearly 10 hours long. i left at 4:30 pm from sfo and arrived at heathrow mid-morning so i basically went into the future and flew past any darkness out the window along the way. virgin atlantic's a pretty nice airline but it wasn't as great as i hyped it up to be since the first time i went to london 4 years ago. for some reason the airline attendants kept thinking i was with the 2 indian girls that sat next to me. anytime they were sleeping, they would ask me what they wanted to eat or drink. when they said they didn't want wine or tea, they assumed i didn't want any either. and when they were giving out custom papers to fill in, they gave me one and said it was good for the whole family...um i wasn't aware of how indian i looked (and not the native american kind). i thought it was pretty amusing. also amusing was v.a.'s personal interactive video screens. i watched soooo much crap that i sort of impressed myself:

"There Will be Blood" - a quirky tale about a tween oil prospector dealing with the adolescent woes of turn of the century america. ok not really. actually a tale about a crazy guy with an oil drill who is just as scary as Chigurh (No Country for Old Men) but even more human thus perhaps more scary? well u can be the judge of that. definitely an interesting watch even though it's pretty hard to swallow. i did appreciate the fact that they didn't have to be as gory as No Country to get their point across. though now that i think of it, the violence in No Country was pretty amazing.

"Arctic Tale" - a very sad tale about polar bears and walrus' and the effects of global warming on their very existence with a couple of "oh no u diint's and oh girl's!"  interjected when u think u might start to cry, compliments of narrator, queen latifah. 

"America Unchained" - a documentary focused on a british guy trying to drive cross-country in his newly acquired used station wagon without giving any money to "the man." along the way, he can only spend his money at "unchained" places (independently owned and mom/pop-ran) for gas, lodging, and food. it was really interesting to see how far he had to go to get gas from non-chains and in the process, he met tons of nice folk who were content with simpler lives. it really made me see how hard it is for these independents to keep running when chains run America. 

"How to Look Good Naked" - yes this is a show about how to indeed look good naked. you can tell it's a british show by how many boobs and "muffs" (as they call them here) you get to see as you watch a gay asian man's quest to make women feel confident with what they got. it was pretty inspiring although pretty naked. 

"The Girls of the Playboy Mansion" - yet another insightful show...okay not that insightful. it was also a make-over show but the premise was about giving one of the playgirl's little sister a hoe make-over. she looked really cute after her make-over but it was really gross seeing Hugh Hefner eyeing her from his silky robe. 

"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" - okay this one was amazing. i definitely recommend this one to anyone looking for a fresh look at a movie experience. it was pretty difficult to watch but i feel like it was worth the emotional rollercoaster. this movie is based on a true story about the editor of french Elle magazine. he suddenly has a stroke that leaves him paralyzed except for his left eye. the story follows his inspiring journey to survive and want to survive. unfortunately i didn't get to see the last 5 minutes of the movie because we started our descent just as the story was going to end. boo!

okay so i finally landed after my marathon. took the underground to my dad's place. it was only one train (no transfers) but getting off the train and onto the street proved really difficult. now keep in mind i had two luggages (one was more than half as tall as me and one was a carry-on suitcase). together they weighed about 75 lbs. plus a purse and a heavy backpack with a lap-top in it. so i get off of the train and i come to find that i have to climb two sets of steep cement stairs to get to the top. yeah, not so fun. and plenty of people just walked passed me and scoffed. oh u british are so generous...

anyhow, i got to my dad's flat. it's actually his good friend's house who is renting it to him while he lives in germany for work. the great thing about it is that i get my own room and bathroom. the house is really nice and a lot more "homey" than my dad's last flat since i guess it is a home. although it is a little weird staying at someone else's home cuz all of his stuff is in storage. the architecture is quaint but nice. i love the spanish villa type feel of the decor. 

the rest of the day i just hung out and took plenty of naps since i hadn't slept at all the night before. that was day 1.